Hurts So Good: The Glitter-Coated Sex Sounds of The Weeknd

2 Apr

My nighttime activities generally pose a constant problem for me: I’m horrible–HORRIBLE–at the club scene.  Here is a brief true and verbatim excerpt from my most recent night out when a guy started dancing with my friend:

Friend: No thanks
Guy: *shrugs, continues*
Me: I think you should stop! I think you should respect her boundaries as a woman!

Cool, professional club chitchat at its finest. But basically, the crux of my issue is this: I’m incapable of processing the sensory/sensuality/Redbull & vodka-soaked cave of makeup-melting grinding and dirty bathroom fights they call
“the club,” but I also enjoy a good night of debauchery, dancing, and a few choice items from the pharmaceutical takeout menu. My most recent solution to this puzzle has arrived in the form of 20-year old Abel Tesfaye AKA The Weeknd. Current speculation around the internet has him ushering in the next level of R&B and people are losing their minds over the distorted Beach House samples in his tracks. Continue reading

LA Readers: Man-Size approved shenanigans afoot!

10 Mar

To know Man-Size‘s very own Erika Paget (above, right) is to adore her. She’s my girl. She’s my inspiration. She does it ALL. And, hell, on March 27, she is making her goddamn SKETCH COMEDY DEBUT at LA’s Westside Comedy Theater with partner-in-crime Courtney Barnett (above, left) under the name Fancy Business. Sounds amazing, am I right? Yes. I’m right.

Dudes, if you can go and don’t, a) we’re gonna be mad and b) you’re gonna miss out. But mostly a. Most of our staff can’t make it because fuck distance. Hit this up so we can live vicariously through you.

RSVP on Facebook because, whatever, that’s where everybody does stuff now.

Counting Down to the Academy Awards: 127 Hours

18 Feb


I love the Academy Awards. I completely, unabashedly, and over-enthusiastically love the Academy Awards. Sure, you can say it’s a Hollywood circle jerk where rich, pretty people praise other rich, pretty people for doing their job. It’s like if Borders went bankrupt because they blew millions of dollars on a night where their cashiers gave each other awards for handing out the correct change. It’s a ridiculous and unnecessary spectacle but I love ridiculous and unnecessary spectacles! I love movies! I love celebrities! I love getting drunk on a Sunday night while watching an award show! But most importantly? I love loudly and incessantly sharing my opinions on the Academy Awards with everyone for the two weeks (months) leading up to the actual show. Listen, if I’m going to be in debt for the rest of my life because I made the silly decision to study movies in college, then I’m sure as hell going to pretend that those four years turned me into a film expert who is qualified to force my stupid opinions on the unsuspecting (and unwanting) e-public.

So let’s talk about movies! Starting with 127 Hours!


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Your Fashion Week Hangover: I need to lie down

14 Feb

The problem with fashion week is that you can’t just be like “oh. I’ll catch up on this later” because then when you check back its developed into this hideous beast sitting in your backyard eating all your plants and then you’re hungry and angry and overwhelmed with JEWEL TONES.

Which brings me to my first point: jewel toned satins are to fall what florals are to spring: obvious. I get it, designers but I feel like you’re beating me over the head with this static-inducing look. Continue reading

Your Fashion Week Hangover is BACK!

12 Feb

Hey Everyone! Its fashion week ONCE AGAIN! yes. already. you know what that means, right? Time to kick off your platform clogs, climb out of your high-waisted super wide flares, put on your favorite stolen hoodie and watch the circus from afar with yours truly.

I’ve only gone through Thursday’s collections but I can already tell that there’s going to be a LOT more yelling about 90s NOSTALGIA! and GRUNGE CHIC and SEATTLE and the like this season more than last. And I might partake a little but not too much. We can’t hold the fact that most of these designers grew up during that time and are beginning to draw inspiration from it against them. The 90s are the new 80s are the new 70s are the new 60s….ugh someone get me a cocktail. Continue reading

TV Round Table: Skins (US), “Cadie”

8 Feb

Sometimes, a recap on its own just doesn’t feel like enough. For those times when everyone wants a word, the Man-Size get together to duke it out via instant messenger. This is the TV Round Table, and in this edition, Sarah and Pilot may or may not have reached the limit of their masochistic experiment in watching of MTV’s adaptation of Skins. Or did they?

Sarah: So this is the fourth episode?

Sarah: She eats BTW

Sarah: She is eating a banana

Sarah: Therapist is talking about her vagina

Sarah: Average life

Sarah: And her dad is into taxidermy?

Pilot: maybe that’s why she likes to get stuffed AMIRITE

Sarah: This is like manic pixie dream house

Pilot: oh god there is going to be so much manic pixie bullshit

Pilot: windchimes and suicide!

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TV Round Table: Skins (US), “Chris”

2 Feb

Sometimes, a recap on its own just doesn’t feel like enough. For those times when everyone wants a word, the Man-Size get together to duke it out via instant messenger. This is the TV Round Table, and in our second chat, Sarah, Erika, and Pilot watch this week’s episode of the American Skins a day late because we are adults who don’t always have time to watch children’s melodrama.

Sarah: JUSTICE TEAM, ASSSEEEEMMMBBLLEEE

Erika: should we do what we did last time/

Sarah: Just comment on stuff as it happens?

Erika: YEP

Sarah: Yes.

Pilot: COOL.

Pilot: i will try to keep my caps lock under control.

Sarah: NEVER!

Pilot: hahaha

Sarah: I think the theme song is stupid

Sarah: for starters.

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