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12 Aug

The USB port is such a wonderful invention. Not only can it do the usual awesomeness like charging your phone and saving important presentations (because you’re so profesh), but now it can do super crazy useful stuff you never thought you’d need (and probably don’t). HOWEVER. God knows you probably don’t have too much money, and summer has a tendency to cheapen the best air conditioning systems. It’s enough to make you want to sit at your desk all damn day and watch Netflix. SO WHY CAN’T YOU?? With all these laptop-ready innovations in laziness, new USB gadgets are giving you three reasons to tell productivity to shove it.

USB Fridge
Your cold one just not cold enough? SAY NO MORE. Your inability to walk the ten steps required to get to the fridge just got that much more hi-tech. The only bad news? It only fits one can. More for you though, right? Alcoholism, party of one! (Urban Daddy)

An underrated, simple necessity. It’s the lazy equivalent to those portable fans you see at sports games, which is good to keep in mind for when you remember how long it’s been since you last went outside. (Urban Outfitters)

USB Cushion
This fancy butt cooler you attach to your chair guarantees to keep what’s under your desk nice and breezy while the fan takes care of your face. Speaking of which, did we mention there’s a fan attached?!! (Cool Gadgets)

If you can’t afford any of the above items, my solution is to sit naked in your room and wait for fall to come. Your growing stack of electrical bills should make for great fans until then.